Gateway of Janus
by Blackened
Summary: A short Seifer fic, a twisted look into how he became the man he is. Extended... Fujin joins the fun!
1. Gateway of Janus

Gateway of Janus.  
  
He awoke in a cold sweat, shivering in fear just like every night. His eyes opened to the darkness, the nightmare merging into reality, shadows casting disturbing images on the walls around him. He sat up pulling the covers off him, exposing his bare body to the humid air. This nightmare forever plagued him, what made it worse was that it was once reality. Seifer Almasy hated this side of him, the side he kept from those around him.  
  
The truth was no-one ever saw the real him, not even Raijin or Fuuj. The image he portrayed at Garden was created in denial to the side that came in the dark, when he slept, reliving the past and the pain. It was his way of divorcing himself from that grim reality, to help him believe that it had happened to someone else. Would anyone ever believe that the arrogant, self-assured, swaggering blond figure that subjected lesser people to scrutiny and mockery was ever this person trapped in a hell?  
  
The real Seifer Almasy was buried between these two halves, never allowed to exposed in case it opened up the dark side, the pain that had created him yet was also his downfall. His past and his denial of it had enabled Ultimecia to play upon his emotions, promising to take him out of himself if he followed her but in the end he had become her puppet, her promise forgotten and he was used again.  
  
It his skin crawl, he hadn't been able to see her for what she was, been blinded by hope and denial in recognising the similarities of what held him before. Even now he was awake the voice haunted his thoughts, the low menacing words threatening with pain should he say a word.  
  
He envied Squall, envied him to the point of hate. His quiet existence riled Seifer as he was more at peace than he'd ever be. Sure Squall had suffered the pain of loss but Seifer yearned to have had that suffering rather than what had occurred to him after he had left Matron's orphanage.  
  
He had always wondered how he had ended up with that couple, obviously they seemed okay at the start, which was presumably why Matron allowed them to take him from her warm embrace. His adoptive mother had been friendly and his adoptive father enthusiastic at having a son to share his interests with. However he had been a drunk, an angry one at that. Sleepless nights had plagued Seifer's youth as he heard breaking of glass and a woman's screams.  
  
His new mother became subdued and withdrawn no longer warm and attentive, leaving him at the mercy of his surrogate father. It had started with angry words, being yelled at for the slightest reason, then it progressed to physical torture, painful blows to his body where the marks wouldn't show, a whippy cane that lashed at his legs for no reason.  
  
But worse came later in the dark, in his sleep. Hands smother his mouth waking him in a panic, limbs pinning his small frame to his bed as a malicious whisper fills his ears as He tears away the fabric, exposing his pale smooth youthful skin to His hungry eyes. Fear and confusion had clouded his mind as rough fingertips rasped his chest, heavy ragged breaths and alcohol fumes cover his face. Large heavy, rough hands touch him all over, tracing curves of muscle, groping and pinching at his youthful frame. Cupping hands attack his groin, jostling and tugging at him as he is frozen under him, bound by fear.  
  
Turned over, smothered by his pillow he wondered what was to come not understanding what was happening and why as fingers traced his spine, the feeling of drops of fluid dripping on his back, warm and viscous. The presence left him after that, the stench of alcohol fading as he remained as he was too scared to move, his body convulsing with sobs and hot salty tears stung his eyes, ran over his lips, soaking into his pillow.  
  
After that night he lay awake in his bed waiting, fearing that He would return. Too young to understand what was going on, unable to get Her to talk or believe. Lulled by the lack of another attack he had let his defence down, too weak and tired to continue his vigil and that was when He struck. The same thing happened again, those rough hands touching, rendering his body before flipping him over once more, low soft menacing words reminding him what would happen if he were to cry out. Seifer was too weak to cry or fight as his fear was pushed aside violently as he was violated, his legs aching as they were forced apart. The pain filled him for what felt like an eternity and then it was over.  
  
This had continued on an irregular basis until Seifer had been old enough to escape, running away to Garden where a familiar father figure had welcomed him, took him in not realising what emotional scars criss-crossed his mind. It was here he could be someone new, someone different, no longer weak or terrorised. In this revelation and recreation of himself he had become the bully, he knew it but if that's the price he had to pay to cut the bonds of his past then he would do it.  
  
He had tried to cut those bonds further when he reached his mid teens, now stronger, more powerful he went back to that house of pain and found that drunkard, a now weak pathetic frail thing, a mere shadow of the force that had abused him. The rage had welled up inside him and he grabbed Him by his shirt flinging him to the wall as that bitch broke her silence screaming at him to stop as he rained blow after blow on his nemesis, blood staining his fists, as it had stained the sheets of his youth, as flesh tore and bones broke.  
  
He left him in a crumpled heap, drawing his gun-blade Hyperion from its sheath, turning on the wailing siren behind him with a menacing smirk as her face paled in terror. With one sweeping swing of his arm her the skin of her neck was severed, a cascade of blood spurting from between her fingers as she clasped her hands to the thin wound, her screams now gurgles.  
  
Soft groaning behind him brought Seifer back to his original target and he turned on Him the fear on His face feeding his lust for death. He crouched by the broken form of a man, blood flowing into His eyes from cuts on his head but Seifer could still see the look of out-right terror in them as he grinned maliciously producing a knife from the recesses of his coat. This was the first time he had actually killed somebody other than monsters but then that was what He was, a monster that needed to be slain, so it was right for him to feel this good as he slowly sunk the short blade into His flesh, listening to His whimpers of pain as he made shallow cuts that bled profusely. Seifer then sat back and watched as the blood leeched away and his tormenter slowly yet painfully died.  
  
Seifer's mind came back to the present. He thought that he would have been freed when He had died but he was still encased in this shell personality he had created for himself, this cage that kept him captive. He realised that he hadn't won as He still haunted him in his sleep, he could never escape Him or his past. His victory over that bastard had been fleeting, yet He would possess him for as long as he lived. 


	2. Corridor of Hades

Corridor of Hades  
  
She lazed in her bed, unwilling to rise from her warm cocoon. In the next room she was aware of Seifer's restfulness, the sleepless nights and cold sweats that he'd be too proud to admit and she didn't have the courage to ask him what was wrong.  
  
His nights were full of torment, this much she could be sure of. It seemed to have worsened since his manipulation by Ultimecia but that wasn't the cause of his pain. There were secrets between them, they all had things in their past that they didn't wish to share, things so dark yet had been what had shaped them. In her mind she knew this, knew that it was these secret pasts that were what had brought them together in the first place.  
  
Fujin rolled over in her bed the covers tightening around her limbs. She wished she could go see Seifer now, even though it was late. Wanted to comfort him, ease the pain and maybe ease her own.  
  
She wondered what physical or mental torture Seifer had undergone in his youth. She was sure she was the only one who saw the sad, lonely boy under the strong, menacing man he projected. But then she saw the same thing herself when she looked in the mirror. The mask she wore to hide the scars.  
  
Even in her warm idyll she shivered as memories of the past crept into her senses.  
  
The sky was clear blue, the air was crisp and cold as they ran over the pure snow, the white blanket of ice crystals crunching under their feet. She was dragged along by a couple of adults, her shoes torn from the endless running and exposing her toes to the wet cold, the chilling frostbite.  
  
Tears of fear and pain trickled and froze on her cheeks as her shrill sobs mirrored the hoarse cries of the adults around her. She was too young to understand what exactly was happening, why there was so much fear around her. She no longer knew where her mother was, her father had long gone when the men in grey had come and burned their little town in the Trabian mountains.  
  
There were other children in the group, their faces blue with cold, wrapped in dirty ragged blankets just like she was. Their eyes red from endless tears, hair glistening with frost and matted.  
  
Her body was shaking endlessly with the chill, her fingers red and swollen whilst her stomach growled in hunger. The adults didn't seem to be faring any better, being propelled by sheer will power and fear. Most of them hadn't slept for days, too scared to stop in any one place for too long as they escaped the Sorceress' soldier's grasp.  
  
However it wasn't enough as a yellow metallic monster dropped from the sky, its large clunking arms swivelling menacingly. The adult yelled out in surprise and dragged the screaming children another way as the big yellow ape came clanking slowly behind them.  
  
She was a aware of sounds around here, the whistling of wind as a large purple kind of bird flew past the group, forcing them into a tighter crowd so that they tripped and stumbled over each other and the snow.  
  
Fujin slipped out of the grasp of the rough hands that held her, dropping into the soft cushion of snow as loud crackles and bangs surrounded her and she huddled under her blanket in fear, whimpering. The noises stopped and she heard agonising screams and groans, followed by soft slow crunching footsteps. The blanket was pulled from her and she looked up into the bright blue sky and a silhouetted face, all grey and alien with big bulging green eyes.  
  
Smooth hands reached down and grabbed her round the waist pulling her up from the snow and spun her round carrying her away but this motion allowed her to see the still bodies of the people she knew, the white snow stained with streaks of red. She was too young to understand what this meant but the gaping mouths of adults and the contorted bodies of young male playmates shocked her and she let out a horrifying scream, another voice adding to the cacophony of shrill voices of the other young girls being carried off around her.  
  
Fujin turned in her bed the sheets clinging to her damp limbs whilst her t- shirt stuck to the curve of her back as cold sweat trickled down it. After that day she could never be warm enough but that was only the start of the pain.  
  
She had been carried back to some giant bird that opened up to let all the people walk up inside it. She looked around wildly and was taken to a room where she was gently set down with all the other girls. She no longer had any tears left to cry, her throat sore from screaming and so she sat in the corner away from them all as the other girls lay in crumpled heaps their bodies still heaving as they continued to sob.  
  
She remembered sleeping, he tired body finally giving in and drifting away to a dreamless place, her young mind already trying to erase the horrors she had seen the last few days. She was awoken by the soft hissing sound as the door opened and a young warm looking woman came in to see them. She spoke softly to them in turn asking them their names. The woman had crouched down before her and she could see the sadness in her eyes just like her mommy's eyes had been when her daddy had gone.  
  
'So what's your name?' the woman asked looking at the tangled mass of silver hair that obscured red sleepy eyes.  
  
Fujin opened her mouth but only silence came out.  
  
The woman smiled at her. 'It's okay I won't hurt you.' She said softly stroking her cheek.  
  
Fujin was too tired to be scared, besides this lady looked nice why should be scared?  
  
'Fu.. jin' she whispered eventually.  
  
'Fujin?' the woman recited and held out her hand. 'I'm Anaugh.' She said warmly and gently squeezed her hand. Fujin smiled faintly and blinked sleepily.  
  
'I guess you're hungry.' Anaugh continued and produced a large cookie from a pocket and broke a bit off. 'Here you go.' She said offering it too her.  
  
Hunger and childish greed made Fujin snatch it from her fingers and stuff it into her mouth ravenously.  
  
Anaugh smiled softly but it faded as she leant in closer to Fujin and ran a hand through her matted hair. 'I'm so sorry... you probably don't understand what's going on but I'll try and make sure you're treated okay.' She whispered and stood, looking down sadly at all the other girls, as Fujin just smiled contentedly, not really hearing or understanding Anaugh's words as she drifted back to sleep.  
  
She had never known peace again after that day. The next woman she had seen had scared her so much. The girls had been taken to a large room in a big glass city and made to stand in front of a big chair where this woman sat.  
  
The woman then stood and walked down to them. She was very big, Fujin's neck hurt as she looked up into the sky as sharp fingers tilted her chin up and she looked up into a menacing face and cold red eyes.  
  
The red eyes inspected her closely burning into her own as her face was turned this way and that. The monstrous woman then let go of her chin and continued down the line repeating this with the rest of the girls. That was her first meeting with the Sorceress Adel.  
  
After the inspection Adel nodded to the grey men and they dragged all the other girls away screaming, leaving Fujin to stand alone before the huge chair, shivering in fear. 'Well my dear I guess it's time we took you to your new room.' Adel rasped and she was gently led away by a grey man.  
  
The next day she had been woken early and a short man with a big circle round his neck and wearing a dress came in to see her. He spoke strangely and rapidly and Fujin didn't understand him as he looked at her and touched her with a number of strange cold objects.  
  
She sat there numb as the man finished whatever he was going to do and then another man came in pushing a box with lots of strings attached. The man with the big circle the stuck the strings on her, lines of pretty colours running from her skin to a box which showed patterns of green lines. She giggled as she watched this and the men mumbled to each other in a low monotone and then pulled the strings off her and walked out the room.  
  
She idly swung her legs against the metal bed as she sat alone saddened as the box showed a single flat line. She dropped off the bed and tried to reach up to the box to play with the buttons. Suddenly the door burst open and one of the grey men grabbed her and scooped her up into his arms running away down the corridor.  
  
Fujin heard the shrill yells of the big circle man behind her and then flashing red lights and shrieking as the grey man ran faster, Fujin being bounced against their hard body.  
  
The grey man kept talking to her as they ran through halls, charging past people who tried to get in their way.  
  
'It's okay Fujin, I won't let them hurt you.' The grey man buzzed.  
  
They made it to a place where lots of big birds were resting and the grey man lifted her up into one of them and sat her in a chair, pulling a belt over her so she was held down. The grey man nodded to her and then got into the seat in front of her. Fujin looked up in surprise as glass closed in above them and the bird started to shake. She looked around and gasped as they rose into the clouds and then started giggling as they flew swooping and gliding through the air.  
  
Then she screamed as loud bangs and fire came from behind them, clouds of blackness covering the sky.  
  
'Dammit.' The grey man buzzed.  
  
The bird started to spin and fall as Fujin shrieked shrilly. The noise grew as they fell faster and the grey man cursed and leant back hard pushing his seat back closer to Fujin. The bird started to level out but still all was black, there was a loud cracking sound and the bird shuddered and span, rolling over and over.  
  
Fujin slammed forward feeling pain around her neck as the belt pulled tight around it and then her face met the seat in front of her and there was a sharp pain in her eye and the feeling of warm water trickling down her face.  
  
The bird stopped with a jolt and Fujin was pushed back into her chair and then the belt snapped propelling her forward. She could feel the rush of wind and hard snow as the sky shattered above her. She tried climbed out the bird and tried to find the grey man. The pain still stung her face and her vision was blurred. She tried rubbing her eyes and yelped as one side stung and her hand came away red and sticky.  
  
She cried out for the grey man and clambered over the seat to find the grey man sprawled out over the front of the bird. She nudged the man and pushed him, crying for him to talk. He rolled over and she could see that his grey face had gone, no more green eyes but had the face of someone she recognised.  
  
'Anaugh!' she cried softly, her voice rough and hoarse, shaking her as she used to do to her daddy to wake him up, but her eyes were already open and blank, her face covered with red. 'Anaugh wake up!' Fujin yelled stubbornly.  
  
Rough hands snaked behind her and pulled from off Anaugh. 'No!' Fujin screamed and kicked at the figure.  
  
'Come along child before they come!' a soft male voice told her.  
  
The man turned her round to look at her and grimaced as he saw her face.  
  
'We'd better get you away from here and have you looked at.' He told her softly.  
  
'What's going on?' Fujin cried with her one good eye.  
  
'I don't know... but we can't stay here, bad men will come.' The man said his dark skinned face and warm brown eyes looked down on her.  
  
The dark man had carried her to two other men, one was big and quiet, while the other was smaller than the dark man but had black air and was friendly, he seemed to talk all the time.  
  
'Another one of Adel's girls.' The dark man said softly.  
  
'Jeez... what happened to her face?' the black haired man whistled.  
  
'She was in the wreck of that aircraft.' The black man replied and handed Fujin to the big man who smiled at her and gently dabbed her face. He then turned to the others and shook his head.  
  
'Doesn't look good Laguna, her eye is gone.' The dark man said softly as the big man continued to clean her cuts holding her in his arms.  
  
'Okay well we'll use what we have to clean her up and repair the damage some way.' The black haired man said.  
  
Fujin felt something stick into her arm and then felt woozy the voices drifting away.  
  
She then awoke to hear voices in the back ground, still too weak to open her eyes or move.  
  
'So what are we going to do now? This isn't Ellone.' Kiros said softly.  
  
'Well we can't leave the poor girl here, the Estharians will be coming for her, but we can't take her with us either.' Laguna replied.  
  
Ward grunted.  
  
'Well we could send her to the orphanage but that's a long way.' Kiros replied.  
  
'It'll have to be Fisherman's Horizon, it's not so far away and the Estharians hopefully won't go looking there.' Laguna said.  
  
'F.H. it is then.' Kiros answered as Ward grunted in agreement.  
  
Fujin moaned softly and tried to sit up, her eyes opening but there was still only darkness which made her whimper.  
  
'Hey, little girl its okay... we had to bandage your eyes cause you were hurt.' The voice of the black haired man said to her.  
  
'Anaugh...' Fujin rasped.  
  
'She's gone hunny... what's your name?' the dark man asked.  
  
'FUJIN.' She replied in a low voice.  
  
'I think her voicebox was damaged too.' Kiros whispered.  
  
'We're going to take you to some nice people who will look after you okay?' the black haired man told her.  
  
Fujin nodded her head woozily and drifted back to sleep lulled by the darkness.  
  
When she next woke up she could see light and she sat up in shock wondering where she was. A strange man and woman were stood over her. 'It's okay Fujin, you're safe.' They told her.  
  
She looked round blearily, too much had happened to her in the last few days, so much change that she now found it normal and adjusted quickly.  
  
The man and woman looked after her treating her as their own daughter and she grew up in the town of Fisherman's Horizon, playing on the railways and finding some happiness again, but never regained her innocence. She adjusted to having one eyes and the being only able to speak a few words at a time. She felt like a pirate with her eye patch and would play Pirates with the other children.  
  
She had stayed in F.H. for a few years but then the Galbadians were threatening the town and the Mayor let them take over. Her early memories of capture and misery made her feel angry and so she ran away finally making her way to Balamb Garden where she found a place where she could learn to defend herself and maybe others like her. Who knew that she'd one day end up working for the Galbadians she so detested?  
  
But then that was because of Him. She remembered when she first arrived at Garden where she felt so self-conscious, people looking at her eye patch and staring at her one good red eye. People distanced themselves from her, scared by her bearing and voice, all except them. Seifer and Raijin had welcomed them into their very small group. Raijin was drawn to Seifer by his air of authority and his fierce loyalty, or maybe like Fujin he was drawn to Seifer because he sensed the pain within, something they all shared.  
  
Possibly Seifer knew of her pain, the death that surrounded her youth, not in specific terms, just in general, like how she felt his pain. Maybe that was why he welcomed her so warmly and was so fiercely protective of her, defending from those people who thought her strange. That's why she followed him in his dream, until they came to Adel. Her memories of what that woman had done to her life was too much to bear and she couldn't follow Seifer no longer, finally accepted that he was being controlled, told him how she felt in that passionate speech that hurt her throat so much.  
  
Now she was glad to have the original Seifer back, or at least the Seifer he made everyone see. She just wished that she could help him with his pain, help him come to some sense of acceptance, just like how his destiny had enabled her. 


End file.
